The Lion King

June 8, 2011

We all know the story of “The Lion King.” Throw together an all-star cast (Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Matthew Broderick, James Earl Jones, Whoopi Goldberg), get Disney to write one fantastic script and write some pretty awesome African-sounding music — and BAM. You’ve got 1994′s “The Lion King.”

The story goes, in case you forgot, lion cub Simba witnesses his father King Mufasa’s death, but is unaware it is at the hands (paws?) of Mufasa’s brother Scar. Scar tells Simba the Pride Lands will blame Simba for the death of his father, so Simba runs away. With Simba out of the picture, Scar assumes the figurative crown, but ends up turning the Pride Lands into a wasteland. Simba returns as an adult to challenge Scar and eventually wins, but not without a huge amount of effort.

Moral of the story?
Don’t trust anyone named after their disfigurements

Especially if they look as sinister as this guy.

It’s as simple as that. Would you ever trust someone named Stubby? Nine Toes? Facial Burns McGee? I didn’t think so.

But then we have virtually the entire cast of characters in “The Lion King” going around trusting some guy named Scar. First of all, look at that guy’s name compared to everyone else’s. You’ve got Simba, Mufasa, Nala, Sarabi, Zazu, Rafiki. And Scar. You tell me which name doesn’t belong?

Yet everyone goes along trusting this guy. Just look at him. He doesn’t look like someone you could trust. That’s as bad as saying, “Yeah, I think I trust that guy Hole-in-His-Face.” No sense whatsoever.

Not to mention, what the hell was his name before he got that damn scar? Assuming he wasn’t born with it, that is. If he got in a battle, why the hell would the pride start calling him “Scar”? They were just asking for trouble.

I’m not saying to judge the book by its cover or anything, I’m just saying to have some common sense. If you meet someone with a suspicious name, they’re probably a suspicious character. If you’ve got someone like that on your hands, just watch your back (tail?), OK?

2 Responses to “The Lion King”

  1. Stefani said

    His real name was Taka. He obtained the scar from his dad because he tried to kill simba as a child through jealousy. Therefore, he got the nickname Scar.This is not the answer I was looking for at all, you idiot.

  2. Stefani said

    Not simba, Mufasa. My bad.

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